G for G20

Great photo from the G20 protest today. Courtesy of The Guardian.

Post no Bill

Winter weather is not my soul
But the biding for spring...

Why’s everybody looking at me
Like there’s something fundamentally wrong
Like I’m a southern bird
That stayed north too long

Winter exposes the nest
Then I’m gone

Bonnie Vid Billy - just to brighten the day

Da Nerd Herd

I'm sitting in the front room of the new abode and in the next room sits my sister, my girlfriend and three friends playing a fantasy board game called Descent.
Now, it is perhaps a little known fact that my girlfriend is a supernerd.
Little known if you don't know me, I suppose. And maybe even if you do.
It was subtle at first. Gaming consoles started to pile up. Gamecube, PS2, Nintendo DS, Xbox and many more. The comics started to appear everywhere, action figures were being bought and not taken out of their boxes and then came the question every red-blooded male out there dreads:
"Will you come and play the Battlestar Galactica board game with me and my friends after work?"
"Crikey", I thought. "This is worse than I thought."
So now it's Descent. There appears to be a glut of dragony things and goblins. There's dice involved. It's all a bit Mason-esque and odd. So I will remain in the other room hiding away from the potion-buyers and sword-wielders, drinking my can and blogging my blog.
I slapped a review of Animal Collective together for the 'D so have a look and see if you agree. The goblins approach, I must fly.

Maybe tomorrow I'll want to settle down. Until tomorrow I'll just keep moving 'round dededede dededede

It's been a mentally draining week.
The weather has taken a rapid turn towards the Spring and we've been moving house. In the middle of that was a massive family booze-up, packing stuff for the move, stressing over deposits and arguing over the unpacking.
I have realised I am not human; I'm a Womble.
I collect an ungodly amount of shit and then pack it all away in plastic bags (which I've also kept for some reason...Tower bags seem to be a favourite) to be viewed at later dates.
So far I've uncovered TV guides from 2007, train tickets with chewing gum in them, college notes from years ago, clothes I haven't worn in 3 years and jazz mags I forgot I had (that was Sinead's discovery, much to her delight. They're good ones too...at least, they were good ones)
At first I was a little wary of the whole moving thing. I love the other place and if you saw the photos on Daft I think I linked to a while ago, you'd probably see why. The new place is a good deal though, great pub up the road and much bigger and more 'homely'...I think. It even has a fireplace.
Been trying to plot some kind of hoildays the last while and Primavera is getting ever closer. Feel like I really need a break and that would the ultimate one this year, given the cracking line-up.
Anyway, I'll leave you with a few tracks from albums I've been listening to recently.
A dash of the Bonnie Prince, a banging track from DOOM's latest and a nice bit of work from Ohio drone-ambient peddlers, Emeralds
Toodle pip.

Bonnie Prince Billy - Beware Your Only Friend
DOOM - Gazzillion Ear
Emeralds - Alive in the Sea of Information

Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges.

I've gorged on films in my recent influenza-induced fragile state so here's a round-up featuring ten word reviews.

Frozen River: A quiet but edgy drama with great performances and ice.

Hamlet 2: Steve Coogan as a weirder-than-Partridge drama teacher. Funny.

Lakeview Terrace: Samuel L. menaces, shouts and is a racist cop. Average.

Eden Lake: Sexy Fassbender, sexy Reilly, violent Skins arsehole, bloody and good.

Wendy and Lucy: Haunting, elegiac, arty, subtle, heartbreaking, thoughtful, timely, go see it.


Wendy and Lucy from stian hilton on Vimeo.

Gran Torino: Craggy old racist makes you laugh. Prepare for some melodrama.

Slumdog Millionaire: Overrated, contrived. Not bad though and well-directed by Boyle.

Rachel Getting Married: Manga-faced Hathaway is good but film is too yuppyish.

If you only see one of these, make it Wendy and Lucy. And then check out director/writer Kelly Reichardt's previous film, Old Joy.
And I know you've counted the words so yes, the L in Samuel L. Jackson counts as a word here.

H is for home

Is there something about a hangover that sharpens your ears?
When I left the house this afternoon, I opted to leave the ipod behind and let the sweet strains of Ringsend and Landsdowne be my soundtrack.
It was beautiful.
The singularly rotten sound of squelching as my Conversed foot plunged into a large mound of canine excrement. The young whippersnappers kicking their football off a discarded trolley, a trolley that once may have held groceries for a loving family or maybe for an old couple who still hold hands when they stroll.
The aural wonder of cars sounding their horns at each other because 'the fucking lights are greeeeeen, ya fuckin' cuntcha'. The crackling sound of sausages deep-frying, seagulls screeching and dogs barking at their own tails.
Where's my ipod?

The S Word

As distasteful as a plethora of conservatives may find it, socialism is the concept that could, possibly, bring America's, and the world's, economy back to life.


Check out this article from The Nation, 'Reimagining Socialism'

But Obama doesn't see his actions as those of a socialist

Of course, Chavez has to get his word in too

And, lastly, let us not forget the paranoia of some Americans

It's all getting quite interesting, innit?

The hunt is on....and you're the prey.

Blogger and Wordpress duel it out

What are the differences between (or advantages of having) Blogger and/or Wordpress? And why are we not all on Livejournal? Who invented the word Captcha? Awful word.

Blunt Force Trauma

Currently doing the business on the Hollyweird scene and plugging her movies on a few shows, in a change of gender (unusually) 'Hunk' of the Week is Ms Emily Blunt.
Devil Wears Prada was shite (Meryl Streep is easily the most annoying actress working today), except for Ms Blunt and she will be popping up as a Young Queen Victoria in the next while.
Normal service will return soon but as it's my blog, if I want to objectify Ms Blunt, I will. Same as I objectified Hugh Jackman a while back. And he went on to host the Oscars.

Porn stars, Paul McKenna and me or how I learned to stop procrastinating and love the blog.

Saved By The Bell, David Lynch-styleee

One of the more interesting aspects of much-maligned but ultimately harmless Twitter (sorry to bring it up again..) is 'following' hardcore porno stars like Bella Donna and Sasha Grey.
Their twatters (titter titter, fnar fnar) were featured in a Sunday paper a few weeks ago and so I naturally signed up as quickly as I could. Where would I be without research, eh?
Essentially, they use Twitter to promote various DVDs and shows but to give you a taste of what kind of output (careful..)they are producing (....) this is basically it:

10am : Woke up, still sleepy, need a frappuccino

12:15: Can't believe my dog is soooo cute LOL. He's the best you guys.

3.27: Arrived at work and haven't even had dinner yet. Real hungry.

4.24: Wow, Aiden's cock is sooo massive and I had three in my ass 5 minutes ago!!

6:17: Time for home again and ice-cream.Yummy.

It's the equivalent of watching that part in Fight Club where Brad inserts(crikey) the Johnson into the kids' film.
It can also be highly amusing as other Twitterers pop up saying the usual daily twattery things and then up pops a reference to girl-on-girl dildo action and a conveniently attached pic.
Not for the office at all at all - unless you work in a porn office.
If there is such a thing.
Probably not an office you'd want to see a stapler or ring-binder in.

Now, I have a treat for you. No-one can resist the mid-Atlantic tones of new media's favourite bespectacled huckster, Paul McKenna, so check out the top dollar creepiness factor on this recording of his, which I found on some Torrent site, that is meant to boost self-confidence. I couldn't resist it. My confidence was at a dangerously low 99.7% and needed topping up. And I figured it would be hilariously deranged.
If you don't need a red hot shower immediately after hearing any portion of this, you officially have the platelet-count of a paedophile or some ilk of deranged sex-offender and you should frog-march yourself directly to the nearest Garda station, strip naked, douse yourself in Tesco own-brand voddy and light a match.
He even layers his voice at one stage and creates a trippy 'McKenna all over your ears' effect. Horrid. I promise not to do this to you again. And by that I mean I will seek out new ones as often as possible, gradually replacing the recordings with my own voice and gathering together an army of blogger 'sleepers' ready to do my bidding the moment I use the trigger-word. The task would most likely involve murder and VIP magazine in some way. Or making me an omelette with especially strong cheese.

Paul McKenna - How to be creeped out in the most heinous way

I'm off to listen to a bit of Bonnie Prince Billy's Beware (available from Drag City here to pre-order). More on that again. Now...sit back and relaaaaax. Let my voice sooooooothe you......

Print is dead, long live other formats

Analogue have news

I've had the pleasure of writing for them and also meeting some of the crew and they're a cool bunch. Here's hoping it flourishes online. Raise your glass to Analogue, everyone.

How to give a dignified, witty, smart, touching and typically Sean Penn acceptance speech.

Series of fuzz #13: Mazes and PENS

Listening to the 'friends' of bands you like on myspace can be a tough swamp to navigate but when you are the cap'n of an airboat as canny as I am, it can turn up some mighty fine results with a real tang.
First up are Mazes, UK fuzz-pop with an unknown amount of members. Check the myspace for a quick idea of what they're about and see the track below along with another. Kinda Weezer-ish and thoroughly wonderful.
Second up are PENS, again a UK act, a trio of girls and some really badly recorded songs on their myspace hence I'm really liking them.
I'd venture that the third track on their page was recorded inside a wet mattress with one of the Vivian Girls having sex with a broken amp on top of it. In a vat of honey. Underwater.

Mazes - Bowie Knife

PENS - Networking

Both mp3s gotten from catbirdseat

I 'urt my h-elbow

Stuff:

Having received Fifa 07 for my PSP for Xmas (a clever financial move from my other half meaning I also got Tiger Woods 07) my hands were beginning to seize up and my elbow cracked with every corner kicked, every tap-in netted, every pass completed. I have spent the last while managing Barnsley, you see, and they (i.e. I) just ain't good enough.
Luckily, with the internet at my fingertips I could scour the cyberworld seeking out underhanded ways in which I could allow my team an advantage.
And soon there it was: Pass to goalkeeper,Run to the D,Kick fullpower and the striker will snaffle it and enter into a one-on-one with the 'keeper.
Oh mighty Barnsley's luck changed and soon we were in the playoffs.
But they just couldn't beat Cardiff and then the fucking PSP packed up.
I'm sorry lads.

Music:

There has been alot of noisy music around, hasn't there? Isn't it great? While Crystal Stilts had a few hiccups at their recent gig, Wavves rocked it hard not so long ago and of course the blogs are all in a frenzy over 'noise' bands and retro-shoegaze bands and so on.
One of the standouts from this gaggle (or should that be gaggggggle?) is LA's Dum Dum Girls, which is one librarian called Dee Dee. Here's a lowest of the lo-fi example of her tuneage.

Hey Sis - Dum Dum Girls

You also may have heard the one-man band Blank Dogs being namechecked by many of these noisy acts like Crystal Stilts or Vivian Girls. Blank Dogs are/is certainly not for everyone so here is a decent example of what to expect.

Blank Dogs - Ants

Blank Dogs - Three Window Room

Other:

Want a laugh? Follow outrageously pretentious friend of Bono/Barry Egan, Gavin Friday on Twitter.

Also, follow porn legend Joanna Angel and get an insight to what people who get banged for a living think on a daily basis.

EDIT: How the FUCK did I get that Yahoo Media Player to work on my page?? I don't know but expect alot more music from now on. Class.

EDIT 2: Just realised linking to a pornstar's Twitter could end up skewing my 'visitor' stats. Could be as interesting as the time I used the terms 'Animal Collective Merriweather Post Pavillion' and 'rapidshare' in the same post...

Twatter

Ever sent a text to a mate and thought to yourself:
'Man, I wish I had sent that to everyone so they could laugh at how fucking funny I am'?
Well, that's what Twitter has the potential to be. Whether it fulfils that potential or not is another issue altogther.
Follow me, my children.

Telepathe: The drug of the nation

Wavves gig was great last night, although it made me wish I was 10 years younger and had a fringe/mullet.
Will have a review up on The 'D soon but, for the moment, those beautiful Brooklynite synth sirens, Telepathe, have kindly returned my Q & A so go check that out

EDIT: Wavves live review from Whelans

Icy you

In an ideal world, this is how I would traverse the ice

There's usually nothing quite as embarrassing as slipping on an icy path and landing on your arse.
On the way to the shop, I did just that the other day and my ever-sympathetic other half proceeded to cry, nay deteriorate into a blob of teary goo, laughing at me as I did the whole 'I am slipping...oh I think I have rescued myself from it...uh oh I'm slipping more...splat. Ow my arsebone' thing.
But it doesn't end yet and in I went to the local Tesco to get some crap.
The still-laughing ladyfriend waited outside with the dog, whose usual habit is to hold off until at least three or four people are exiting, his cue to defecate with gleeful abandon under the blinding fluorescent lights, watched by the smiling security guard, right at the entrance.
The smiling security guard becomes the 'for fuck saking' security guard.
Anyway, once out of the queue, I realised that all was not yet right.
Through the window, chortling-hysterically lady had been watching me in the queue with a little girl standing behind me staring intently at my arse.
Pervy, eh?
Nope.
She had looked bemused, disgusted, amused and disgusted again, I have been reliably informed. The reason, it turns out, was that my fall had not just almost shattered my spine from the arsebone up, it had left a sizeable wedge of dogshit pressed firmly into my jeans. Delicious.
See you at Wavves tomorrow.

What's not to love?

`

Also, check out this groovy piece on Gang Gang Dance over on Plan B

Tallaghtfornia can be beautiful too...

Some young 'un has scrawled 'Asshole' into that menu board in a moment of simplistic, improvised brilliance.


The bus never came for this poor soul. He constructed a snowball and fucked it at a car moments later



A tree. Just that.

Bradjamin Boreton

'Hi, I'm Tom Jism, a former banker. This is my version of a bailout. I'm going to bail my brains out of my head. I watched Benjamin Button too and that certainly couldn't convince me not to liberate my afore-mentioned brains from their skullish prison. Ciao.'

Maybe that is too laborious a title for this post about The Curious Case of Benjamin Button but anyway.
As you probably already know the film is based, albeit very loosely, around a story by F.Scott Fitzgerald (he of The Great Gatsby fame) and involves the tale of a child who is born into an old man's body and ages backwards, eventually becoming a senile man in an infant's body.
David Fincher (director of several works of sheer, unbridled genius not least amongst them being Zodiac)is behind the camera here and it has been said - somewhat cynically and yet plausibly - that this is his bid for an Oscar.
Brad Pitt, a frustratingly talented actor who can be as good as he is bland, plays the eponymous Button and how he got an Oscar nod is beyond me.
This is easily the most 'nothing' film I have seen in ages.
Of course it looks gorgeous, dreamy, hazy, and it is awash with that almost tangible sepia hue of the fantastic Lemony Snicket film. But nothing happens. Less than nothing.
Once the novelty of the special effects wears off, you are left with a rubbish love story that spans an entire life, between Cate Blanchett's character, Daisy - a moody, drawling dancer who manages to make Blanchett look bad - and Benjamin the Dullard.
That's right: this film put me off Cate Blanchett.
Confound you, Ben Button.
At any rate, what follows after laughing at the special effects for the first 20 minutes (Brad's head on an old midget's body - hilarious) is a series of elongated scenes where Benjamin stares blankly at people, speaking in a sloowwww accenttttt thattttt drrrrraggs everythinnnnggg outttt and doing bugger all.
At one stage Daisy and Benjamin meet when they are roughly the same age and...blah blah blah, who really cares.
This is stupifyingly dull.
What is the point of it? And it got how many Oscar noms? Actually, that shouldn't surprise me given the Academy's track record. Christ.
I have to stress that this is not a film with enough conviction to actively hate it, it's just a perplexing oddity, a whimsical glass of water, a cinematic 'nowt'.
There is nothing here that is nearly as profound as it thinks it is and the Forrest Gump comparisons are extremely apt. Don't bother with it. If someone does a rap version of the whole film in six minutes on youtube, a la that Predator rap from ages ago, then watch that.

Not very Christian behaviour at all, eh?

So, Christian Bale was recorded going mental at the Director of Photography, Shane Hurlbut, on the set of Terminator Salvation after the vastly experienced DP walked across The Baaaatmaaaaan's eyeline during an emotional scene.
A mistake was made but holy shit Bale goes off on one like a foul-mouthed toddler.
I love Bale's films and I'm sure many actors and actresses go as crackers as this but we usually don't get to hear it.
What a dick. He's still great though. But a dick in this situation.
Perez Hilton has the clip
Check it out

Attack of my clone

I have been informed - thanks to Godsend being on the TV - that if I died, my girlfriend would clone me.
Not just clone me.
Splice me with a helper monkey, apparently.
All the advantages of me, with the added bonus of obedience and a willingness to be at beck-and-call 24-hours a day.
A little like Mojo, pictured above with Homer.
Can't argue with that really.

Hardcore

Just clicking around and landed on a popular blog you might have seen a few times.
It mentions sex, rape, Nazism and revenge fantasies...and that's just the opening few posts.
Man, my blog is waaaay not hardcore at all, eh?
I need a latte and a sit-down.

Froxon

Saw Frost/Nixon last night.
Solid entertainment with Langella's Nixon being a wonderful replacement now for my shitty Al Pacino impression - all jowly and gruff.
Great performances by all involved although it takes Michael Sheen about 15 minutes to get past the impression stages of his performance. Sam Rockwell and Oliver Platt are great but the talking heads bits, where the actors play their characters a few years after the event, are unnecessary and a bit distracting.
One of the lads asked me for an 'outta 10' so i'll give it a 6. Howzat?