5 hours ago
Friday, January 2
This is Davina. You are live on Channel 4 (unlike me, The Davinabot, because I am no longer technically 'live')
And it begins again. I won't patronise anyone by saying how much I hate Big Brother because I don't. I think part of the reason I have watched a few series of it, though, is my dislike for people who say 'I don't watch television'.
Those words make my blood boil. It never means 'I don't watch television', it means 'I'm too smart to enjoy television, I find it dumb and time-wasting'.
Which it often can be.
And often is not.
I have found, however, that I do hate more and more people, generally, as the years go by. I'm becoming an intolerant bastard indeed.
And I reserve a special kind of disgust/hatred combination for many of the Big Brother contestants. It has kept me cosy many a night. If I've had a bad day and am a bit bummed out, I just think of people like Rex or Kinga or Paul from years ago and I think to myself it could be worse - I could have been born as them.
But this, of course, is not just Big Brother.
This is Celebrity Big Brother.
Now we get down to the nitty gritty, the absolute dregs of existence: delusional, quasi-famous, star-faded/fading 'celebrities' whose agents are slobbering after a percentage of the Channel 4 cheque their lazy clients will snaffle for their appearance. All they must trade is their last scrap of dignity.
Anyway, I haven't seen many of these Celebrity Big Brothers over the years so I'm not sure how things will pan out exactly. Maybe a bit of the oul' racism?
Let's hope it goes badly - it's more fun. And Mini Me is in it. Brilliant.